Unfortunately, not all marriages end up working out. People can grow apart as life gets in the way. There’s no shame in deciding you no longer want to be part of this relationship. It’s not a sign of weakness. Sometimes, the true sign of strength comes from having the power to walk away. Do what is best for your physical and mental wellbeing. Filing for divorce can be a long messy process, so prepare yourself for the road ahead and make sure you take some steps to protect yourself and your assets in case things go south.
Filing for divorce can get expensive quickly. If you and your spouse have shared assets, it is highly recommended to get yourself a divorce attorney instead of trying to get through the divorce process alone. Aside from the legal costs, you may need to move out of your home once your spouse is served the papers. Make sure you are financially ready for any curveballs. There is also no guarantee about how the finances will end up being distributed, so make sure you have a nest egg. Set up a personal bank account and start saving separately from any joint accounts.
Keep records of events related to your divorce.
If you’re planning on filing or have already filed for divorce, start keeping notes of all things related to your divorce. This can be important evidence in your case and will help out your family lawyer. Record information about interactions with your spouse and children. This is especially important if you have children and will need to come up with a custody agreement. The court will do what is in the best interest of your children. Talk about how your spouse’s actions may be impacting your children from the point of view of the child. Think about how they are being impacted by the events surrounding them. For example, if your spouse does not help your children with their homework when they were supposed to have completed this hours ago, talk about how this would feel if you were the child.
Gather all joint financial information.
Do a thorough review of your joint financial assets including bank account balances, properties owned, and even insurance plans. If you have joint credit cards or loans, take count of the money owed as well. It’s important to understand where you are financial as a couple so you can properly discuss the division of assets as they relate to your divorce. If your spouse is a big spender on your joint credit cards, while you only seem to buy household essentials, start divvying up the costs according to yourself and your spouse individually. Share all of this spend and earnings information with your divorce attorney so they can prepare a solid agreement that will help you get what you deserve from your divorce.
Consider how divorce and proceedings will affect your children.
If you have children, a step back and think about how this may affect them, especially if either you or your spouse move out of the home. Consider a plan for sitting them down and speaking about it. Try to keep an open and honest communication and invite your spouse to be a part of this. Put your differences aside and do what’s best for your kids. Try to co-parent together, even if you are not getting along on a personal level. Do not let your emotions create a hostile or negative environment around your children as your family transitions into this new place. This will make the divorce just a small bit easier, which is extremely valuable at such a difficult time.
We are so sorry that your marriage did not work out. Whatever is happening is for the best of yourself and your family. Keep your head up, focus on the light at the end of the tunnel, and protect yourself so that you can start a new chapter of your life as smoothly as possible.